New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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