she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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