is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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