Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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