We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
