you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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