i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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