So drunk, too bad you don't want this
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You were trust falling into bushes
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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