I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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