You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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