saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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