did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize