Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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