I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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