see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
