I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
you made out with another girl for some wings
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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