I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
