Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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