Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
This is classic penis vs brain.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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