I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
