True but thats because hes a fetus.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
