we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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