Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
