it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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