i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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