just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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