Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
