I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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