I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.