i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.