she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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