Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
