I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
