I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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