Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
