I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize