dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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