so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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