he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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