My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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