the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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