Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
