omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
