You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he told me I talked like a deaf person
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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