you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
