I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
