if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize