Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
