I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize