Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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