please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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