Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
whose ass print is on the piano?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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