New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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