you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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