Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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