You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize