his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
