please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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