Im at strip club and am horny
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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