you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
