$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
