My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
