you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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