Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
