people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
