i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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