im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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